The-Gayest-Account

     “Like this, _______?”    “No, you dope! Like this!”    About a month had passed since I last met the Onceler. This infamous villain had been known for slaughtering of the trees for both profit and other personal gains.  Since his arrival, he had made smiley-face pancakes, practically inhaled three packs of marshmallows, and was currently helping me to trim a truffula tree, all the while wearing my frilly, pink apron. He insisted on wearing it to help keep away, and I quote, the “creepy crawlies”. Isn’t he in his twenties?    I was standing behind him, hands firmly planted on my hips, coach